i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
