all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
