So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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