i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Someone shit on the floor
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
