is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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