its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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