i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
