he shaved USA in his pubs
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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