susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
