you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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