You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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