let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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