Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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