She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Congratulations! We have a period
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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