I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
