There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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