mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
