I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
