ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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