You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
