i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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