I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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