i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
