Nicole vs. Life
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My liver just had a heart attack.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize