That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What a dumb baby whore.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
