Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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