just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
