well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
