how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Someone came in the potted fern
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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