ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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