let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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