Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
