Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
