I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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