I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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