The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You ate ashes out of my bong
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Two words: nipple clamps
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