i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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