did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
