i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
