They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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