i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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