It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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