omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my sisters under your porch take her home
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
