I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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