Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
