it was like eating out sand paper
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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