Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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