i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
