I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
