Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
