i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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