I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
